Yelling at people's babies? Thinking about the best way to exit the apex of that 30/kmh corner outside your house? I hear ya, buddy. Well, now's the perfect time to pick a fight with your spouse 'cause it's the 2016 F1 Summer Break! Let's see what's been going on.
M E R C E D E S
Nico was greased lightning when this season's lights first went out. For the first three races both him and his car were like bank. Last season's no confidence panic seems to have been exercised by his sports therapist and his new one-race-at-a-time mantra is on stuck on repeat. How many times have you heard the self-affirming "glass half full" from him this season? What I have loved is that Nico has brought some certain aggression with him to 2016. Not only is he running people (Lewis) off the track but he's blocking them (Lewis) from getting back on. Nico's downfall this season is converting Q1 in P1. If the championship is Hamilton's to win, it looks like he'll have to take it from Nico instead of Rosberg giving it away. There is still promise in Rosberg.
Lewis's start fell flat with plenty of car and team issues. Publicly he was right moody, he claimed privacy and focusing on the task but we really saw him in the dumps. Hard on himself, worried or feeling defeated, Lewis doesn't like losing and losing is not what he's doing at the moment. He's dug himself out of a hole and is back in control emotionally and on the track. He's toying with pace, managing tires and keeps promises about greater pace when needed and four in a row. Hammer time. Either way it is adding up to a better duel that hopefully lasts to Abu Dhabi. Terminator says, "don't come together if you want to live!"
R E D B U L L
A tough set of fortunes has seen as much as Kvyat's stock has fallen, Verstappen's has soared. Surely there is not a soul left that can't say that Max isn't the real deal? A win in his first seat with the big Bulls was historic and seems to have permanently cemented a wry smile on Horner's face. Max overtakes. Max defends. Max podiums. For a teen, he seems to have his shit together and has mastered the fine art of politely not backing down. Speaking of smiles, is there anyone out there that didn't feel for Danny in Monaco? Brutal. Aussie Ricciardo seems to be yet another driver of the day, on the grid who can see the golden hoop but just brushes it with his fingertips. The cars are improving, races in their favour are coming up and the team itself has two drivers propping each other up higher and higher. Max and Daniel could turn out to the best driver team out there.
F E R R A R I
Well, poor Sebastian's troubles just keep stacking up. Not sure if there's been more f-bombs vs. apologies to the team but exploding tires and other bad luck (Kvyat) have stretched Vettel's rubber band closer to snapping. You get the feeling that putting it all together just seems to be sooo close and yet so far for him this season but it's Vettel, it's Ferrari, it's downright painful but it's hard to rule his odds out.
To make matters worse, Kimi has been riding the wave. Ferrari said if Raikkonen wanted to keep his ride, it was up to him to perform and kudos to them both as the pair ended up keeping their word. Re-signing hasn't caused the fan's favourite to settle either as he continues to accomplish and ... get wed.
W I L L I A M S
This year at Williams, it's all weak tea and crumpets passed their sell-by date. If ever a team needed car improvements it's Williams. Each step ahead this year seems to be behind everyone else's two. Not even 1.92 seconds of pit crew choreography can make up for William's strategy this year. I keep waiting for a shot of Claire throwing her hands up in a gesture that says "does anyone have any ideas?" Mid-pack Bottas is a way better driver than his shoulder shrugging declares and Massa's past comment about being too old for this stuff is an unfortunate joke screaming towards sobriety. lack of pace, disappointing qualifying, hopefully his seat will make way for some UK pride in Jenson, see this September.
F O R C E I N D I A
Leading the championship with the most wins with Sahara Force India is Vijay Mallya as he pulls away from every bank in India within DRS.
The ever smiling Sergio Perez eagerly tries to squeeze anything and everything out of the VJM09, managing an impressive two podiums so far. Carlos has done well to coach the team close to Williams and seem quite competitive with Ferrari on the track. Upgrades to the VJM09 have appealed well to Perez's style of driving.
Hulkenberg will always have Le Mans and with that will come the expectation of translating it into Formula One. The Hulk seems to be having a harder time trying to extract success out of the Mercedes Hybrid with two retirements and six and seventh place finishes being his best. A bright talent yet to shine in 2016.
T O R O R O S S O
We all know the top story at STR is the driver swap of the decade. Daniil continues to push through the frustration and impending tears but you can't help but think it will be quite the firework show in the press if he doesn't meet the cut at the end of this season. It's been hard for him to fight back with poor pit stops, three stop strategies etc. as the team desperately gambles to fight off an unseen battle at the summer break, with McLaren.
Yet again, Carlos Sainz Jr., another driver on the verge of greatness gets a fairly strong start shut down by this STR11. Not only too slow to battle mid-pack traffic but equally thrown into break lock for Sainz was Ferrari's re-signing of Raikkonen. This is going to be an uphill struggle for both drivers to eek some success out of the 2016 second half. Some much needed good news in the ending of last year's, noncompetitive Ferrari engines and the reuniting with lost lovers Renault in 2017.
M C L A R E N H O N D A
Even getting paid a shit load of money isn't enough to hide the resentment from the Japanese. Regardless of recent strides in improvement, you get the feeling Button is busy looking on his wheel for anything that says "speed" on it. Alonso seems to be less polite as I'm sure his suggestions to park the car in some races are not so much to save the engine but rather a cryptic version of "what's the fucking point?" I guess that happens to you after you rotate violently two or three times in the air. He put on a brave face but he looked like shit hobbling away after that and I wouldn't be surprised if he admits an ongoing injury at the end of the season. Plus let's not forget, Vandoorne keeps saying now's the time, and I believe him.
H A A S
Oo-la-la Monsieur, ou sont les points? Team America, fuck yeah! have somehow gone all, fuck no! lately. The global billboard for Haas Automation has been hard to keep in the top ten but props to both Grojean and Guitterez for surpassing the team's low expectations. Twenty-eight points at the break is nothing to scoff at for a debut and everyone on the pit wall hates them for it. Grosjean, also a victim of Ferrari's signing, could show some success by the end of the season if things fail in front of him on the grid.
R E N A U L T
IMHO, one of the best looking liveries on the track but things get ugly, Jolyon Palmer. Promises of a point delivered in the pits and then that spin, ugh. You have the feeling that that would have been a career saving point. The highlight of Magnussen's season seems to be having great hair even after taking off his helmet.
M A R U S S I A
Sure it's a little London Weekend Television but the former graphic designer in me likes it. There's so much talk about Pascal Wehrlein in F1 but I've yet to really see anything but a point. The sport, like others currently, is transitioning ever so fast into younger players and Pascal has fallen in to the up-and-comer category. I fear that his opportunity in F1 might move out as fast as it moved in with so many youngsters poking their heads into the pits. I think it can be argued that Ryo's a ticket by Manor to inject cash into the system. The problem: no money, no seat.
S A U B E R
Looks like the C35-Ferrari is turning out to be just slightly faster than their website. I always have the feeling that Kaltenborn is the unsung heroine of Formula One, ever optimistic in the little press that the team is given but I wonder if her job is headed for the barriers. Both Nasr and Ericsson continue to be on the cutting edge of mediocracy. The rich heritage, and that's about it for riches, of today's Sauber seems to be stuck in the vicious circle of no wins = no sponsors and no sponsors=no wins.
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